The Burn Club

The Burn Club – Westlands’ Hottest Gym (Literally & Figuratively)

Welcome to The Burn Club, where calories go to cry and excuses get left at the door. We’re not just a gym in Westlands — we’re the gym that makes your muscles say, “Oh, we’re doing this now?”

We’ve got high-end gear, a squad of superhuman trainers, and a vibe that says, “No pain, no champagne.” (Okay, fine—protein shake.)

Equipment So Fancy It Deserves a Red Carpet

Top-tier machines from the fitness gods themselves. You won’t just work out here—you’ll glide, lift, pump, and possibly cry (but in a glamorous way).

Our Classes

Yoga

Flex your zen with Wangui, who’ll guide you from tight hamstrings to inner peace. No prior yoga experience or chanting ability required. Just show up and pretend to know what “downward dog” means.
Class Schedule:

Wed: 7:00am–8:00am

Wed: 9:15am–10:15am

Thu: 7:00pm–8:00pm

Tabata -The 60-Minute Sweat-Fest

Short. Savage. Satisfying. These HIIT workouts will torch your calories and your will to whine. Get ready to feel the burn (and possibly see your soul leave your body briefly).

When, you ask?

Tue: 5:00pm–6:00pm (Jackson)

Wed: 7:00pm–8:00pm (Jackson)

Thu: 9:15am–10:15am (Cathy)

Kickboxing – Punch Your Problems

Bruno’s got you throwing punches, kicking like a champ, and sweating like you’ve just stolen something. A fun way to vent your rage and get that six-pack.
Classes led by: Bruno, the legend.

Circuit Fusion – Because Why Settle for One Workout?

Move like a ninja through strength stations, cardio bursts, and core crushers. It’s chaos—but the fun, calorie-melting kind.
Class Times:

Tue: 6:00am–7:00am (Fred)

Wed: 6:00pm–7:00pm (Kebs)

Sat: 9:15am–10:15am (Cathy)

Bootcamp – For Those Who Enjoy a Little Suffering

Push, pull, jump, cry (optional), and repeat. Marie’s not here to play, she’s here to build legends.
Class Times:

Mon: 9:15am–10:15am (Marie)

Thu: 6:00am–7:00am (Marie)

Tums & Bums – Abs So Tight, Bums So Right

Sculpt your core and lift that peach! Cathy brings the heat to your midsection and glutes. Warning: sitting down the next day may be optional.
Class Time:

Tue: 9:15am–10:15am

Trainers With Superpowers

Wangui – Yoga & Animal Flow whisperer

Cathy – Tums, Bums, and Burn Queen

Fred – Circuit Fusion Ninja & Bootcamp General

Jackson – Mr. HIIT & Tabata Terminator

Bruno – Your Kickboxing Hero

Marie – Strength, Abs & Savage Love

Kebs – Strength, Mobility, and Hardcore Energy

Hanif – Bootcamp with a Bang

Membership Plans So Good, Your Wallet Might Join Too

The Sweat Plan – Ksh 6,500/month

3 Months – Ksh 18,000

6 Months – Ksh 33,000

Annual – Ksh 65,000

What is HIIT Training?

(Hint: It stands for High-Intensity Interval Torture… we mean Training.)

HIIT is that workout where you go all-out beast mode for a short burst, followed by a brief moment of fake recovery — just enough time to question your life choices, sip air, and prepare to do it all over again.

Example:

30 seconds of sprinting like you’re being chased by a flying hyena

15 seconds of pretending you’re fine

Repeat until your legs file for divorce

It’s fast, furious, and fantastically effective. You burn calories, build muscle, and impress your smartwatch with heart rates it didn’t know existed. Bonus: it’s so intense, your workout could be shorter than your favorite TikTok scroll session.

In short:

HIIT is the kind of workout that says, “Let’s get this over with — fast and furious style.” You’ll sweat, cry (a little), and leave feeling like a legend. Or a puddle. Or both.

What is BMI?

(Also known as: “Big Maybe Indicator”)

BMI stands for Body Mass Index, which is a fancy little math trick doctors and Trainers use to tell you if you’re “healthy,” “overweight,” or “suspiciously shaped like a a mandazi.”

It’s calculated using this formula:

BMI = weight (kg) ÷ height (m²)
…which basically means your body is judged by math. Rude, right?

According to BMI:

Under 18.5 = You’re apparently a leaf.(Feed me!)

18.5 – 24.9 = “Normal,” whatever that means.

25 – 29.9 = “Hey there, Donut and soda lover.”

30+ = The BMI chart starts sweating. You’ve crossed the red line

BUT here’s the kicker:

BMI doesn’t care if you’re all muscle, made of magic, or just naturally thicc. You could be a shredded athlete like Eliud Kipchoge and still be told you need to ease up on the donuts. It’s a one-size-fits-none kinda deal.

So if your BMI seems rude today, don’t take it personally. It doesn’t know your story — or how good your grandma’s cooking is.

So is it useful? Kinda. Is it annoying? Definitely.

Think of it as that nosy aunt at family gatherings — always judging, barely accurate, but weirdly hard to ignore.